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Hello, my name is Jill.

Isn’t blogging just the coolest thing?  You get to write on whatever you want, get your thoughts down and get others involved in a discussion.  You guys know I write 99% on nutrition and exercise, my love and passion.  But with 2011 just ramping up and all the New Years resolutions on the brain, today I thought I would talk about inner dialogue and self-truth.  Getting a little woo woo on you guys :) but when it comes to body change and resolutions, it is so important to talk about the “why” behind what we do.  We get so caught up in the how: “I’m going to workout 5 days per week…I am going to never skip breakfast…I am going to lose this belly…I am going to give up all sweets…I am going to get SKINNY this year!!”  Why?  (WARNING: this blog turns into a little bit of a ramble I just noticed now that I am done writing lol!)

Well, there are many reasons why someone would do anything, but when it comes to body change, realizing why we want what we want will allow us to be successful.  For example, do I want to lose 30lbs because I am ugly and if I just lose this weight, I will be beautiful?  Or, if I could just lose a little weight I will be able to keep up with my young children better and not get so tired. How about, if I had the body of that person, I would be adored like she is?  Or, if I could just find MY individual best look/what feels good for me, then I would feel liberated from the misery that is forcing myself to fit into the mold of someone else.

When I first set out fitness modeling years ago, my husband watched me become frustrated and down on myself for not fitting into what I perceived a fitness model to look like.  “If I could just get my legs down or shrink my butt…” Well, I might as well have been asking to grow 3 inches for all the good this exercise did for me.  I have an ass. I have big, muscular legs that I inherited from my parents, which 13 years of soccer and sprinting assured would develop.  I am literally “big boned”–I know a lot of people say that, but I really am.  My wrists, hands, ankles, rib cage, etc are thick.  I am not petite, so the idea that I could EVER achieve the body of the 5’2″ Jamie Eason (World’s Fittest Model and a complete sweetheart) is ridiculous.  Jade encouraged me to find my best look, my best body, my best self and most importantly, remain balanced about it and maintain perspective.  My best look is not 12% BF ripped to shreds and even if that were my best look, I am not willing to become a maniac about achieving and maintaining that.

So the “why” for me is always to find the program that works for me, something that I can literally do for the rest of my life and not feel deprived but also not feel like I eat/drink whatever I want.  I practice a way of eating and exercise that I can maintain (and maintain my sanity), but that leads me to my best look, my best feeling inside and makes me feel powerful in the world.  Like I am portraying on the outside exactly what I feel on the inside.

My best self–healthy and happy

So ask yourself–when do I know that I am at my best self?  Am I trying to lose weight for reasons that are for someone else?  My spouse will be more attracted to me if I lose weight? My friends will respect me more if I lose weight?  My boss will see me as more driven and maybe give a raise if I lose weight? I will finally be able to show ______ that I am in control and hot! :)

OR, are you wanting change for yourself?  I know that if I lose weight I will feel more energetic.  I know if I lose weight I will feel less stressed and tired. I know if I lose weight I will feel strong and confident.

Remember this…losing weight does not necessarily mean anything at all.  It only means what you make it mean.  We assume it means we can finally be happy or we can finally have what we want.  Why not go out and get what you want right now?  Why not make the choice to be happy right this second?   It is unfortunate that our society equates thinness with happiness or youthfulness or ambition, while overweight people are assumed to be lazy or tired or not driven or not sharp…three words: WTF (or letters I should say!).  How ridiculous that for so many of us, our body image directly impacts our self-worth.  On “fat days” we feel ugly, lousy and not worthy of attention.  On “thin days” we feel invincible and beautiful.  The funny thing is that sometimes we actually look the EXACT same on these two days, it is completely our perception.  Yet our inner dialogue is completely different, as is our outward interaction with the world (extroverted or shy, confident or insecure, worthy or unworthy). WTF.

Anyway, just some things for us to contemplate and discuss.  It is important to keep in mind the why behind the how.  There is nothing we love more than having a new plan–but we need to remember to ask ourselves, why on earth am I doing that?  :)  Thank you all for reading this, I feel incredibly lucky to be able to share with you here and I feel humbled and honored that you would even take the time to read this!  Love, Jill

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