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April 30, 2012

Is The Story You Tell Yourself Holding You Back?

“I am just not good at dieting.”

“I have no self-control.”

“I am someone who struggles with food.”

“I have tried every diet out there, and nothing works for me.”

“I have a slow metabolism and I have to try harder than 99% of people to see results.”

“It takes so much effort and work to see results. It’s too hard.”

I can tell you this after working with hundreds of clients and dozens of competitors. Your mindset literally CREATES your reality. Duh! Sounds like common sense when you say it like that, and yet most people continue to use their most 2 most powerful tools (their brain & voice) to affirm a negative, difficult, victim-minded reality. Simply saying the words “eating healthy is hard” silently affirms to yourself that eating healthy is, indeed, hard.

A while back, we asked the question at JillFit: “Does your perception of the world affect your your reality, or are most things just fact?” E.g. Is it a fact that dieting is hard? We believe, the answer is that EVERYTHING is up for interpretation. And more specifically, your own unique interpretation. How you feel about something affirms that that something will remain exactly how you feel it to be. It’s a feed-forward cycle that can literally be stopped at any time but your own thoughts. You have the power to CHOOSE how to perceive the world.

Here’s an example: I had a client who was CONVINCED that no diet would ever work for her. She had tried every diet out there. Maybe you can relate? :) Anywho, she was so concerned with the PLAN, the RULES and with not breaking them, that she had set herself up for failure before she even began, every time. We have blogged on the all-or-nothing mindset before, and the idea that you cannot mess up, or else, “The-hell-with-it, let’s find something else to do!” Her mindset that the “perfect program” did not exist for her literally affirmed her believe system that she would never be successful at losing weight.

A simple mindset shift would have been something like this: “Well, since I have tried so many diets, maybe there is no ONE PLAN for me, and perhaps instead, I should work on trying to FIND and CREATE the right way of eating for myself that will yield results. Just because specific diets seemed to have not worked, doesn’t mean I am doomed. I get to CHOOSE if I am able to lose weight or not. And of course I can! I just need to be patient and INVESTIGATE myself more.”

Here is an easy way to make the switch in your own head: Instead of asking, how can the world offer help for someone as messed up as you, ask how can you help yourself get better? “What can I DO (action) that does not rely on anyone else?” <—This is the start of independent thought, and with that comes POSSIBILITIES.

Use this quick mental turn-around:

  1. Listen to what you brain says, then
  2. Question it (it that really the truth? probably not)
  3. Say out loud the actual truth, not the messed-up subjective version you conjured up initially :)
  4. Practice this process, over and over until your brain and your words are in alignment

Here is one insight from me to you: You are only screwed if you believe that you are :)

Truly. It is all in your hands. Or rather, your brain and your voice. Own them. Your reality is literally what you create. If the story you are telling yourself is holding you back, it’s time to re-write it! ox Jill

Related: Are we “meaning-making machines?”

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