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December 22, 2012

Reflections on 2012 Part 1: MINDSET

It’s the day after the last day on earth. We survived, unscathed, and I lived another day to blog :) All of this end-of-the-world talk–though I never believed it of course–got me to thinking about what I would do if I were to die tomorrow. What kind of impact had I made? Had I helped people? Had I been a positive force in the world? Had I done something that mattered?? And though I can’t fully know the scope of those answers, I can at least take a hard look at 2012 and try to be as objective as possible.

2012 was the first year that I ran my Best of You Coaching Club–a mentorship in mind, body and business for women who want to excel in all 3 and live a successful, more fulfilling life. And in almost a parallel way, I traced their same steps simply because of the journey I was teaching. I never stopped learning though, either.

I blogged last year that 2011 was rough for me. 2012 was infinitely more fulfilling. It was a great year, and if you are reading this right now, I want to THANK YOU for being a part of it with me.

So, what did I learn in 2012?

Over the next few blogs, I am going to be revealing my biggest insights in all 3 realms of mind, body and business, but for today, I want to talk about the first–MINDSET.

Probably the best insight I had all year was this: Take 100% responsibility for everything.

Your thoughts, your actions, your outcomes, and even the actions and outcomes of others. Not in a way that we try to control others, but in a way that allows us to TAKE ACTION in any situation. If we end up in a situation that is technically someone else’s “fault,” if we want to feel powerful in the world and make things happen for ourselves, we need to take responsibility for changing the situation–even if we are not to blame. Why? Because the alternative is waiting for the other person to change or take action. Not a solid strategy!

Also, this: You always have 100% control over your attitude.

You can’t control outcomes, but you can control what you do and how you do it. It takes the exact same amount of energy to be negative (and I would even argue MORE energy in the long run) than to simply find the bright spots in any situation. Don’t mistake positivity for superficial rainbows and hearts. A deep sense of positivity and wellbeing come about when we give others (and ourselves) the benefit of the doubt, show gratitude and find a lesson in every struggle.

If you adopt the mindset that every mistake, misstep and struggle leads to a stronger, smarter, more resilient you, how can you deny yourself that opportunity?

I like to say “lean into the struggle” because when we take a head-on approach–though it is never easy–it always leads to greater possibility, appreciation and more personal fulfillment.

Be open to outcomes, not attached to them.

Jillian told me about a professor she had at medical school who said that, and it really stuck with me. Not being able to control outcomes scares us. At least it did me for a long time. I thought if I just tried hard enough I could guarantee that things would work out a certain way. Of course, it’s human nature to crave certainty. And yet, we know on an intellectual level that there are no guarantees.

So how can we interact with people and take action without having expectations for how they need to turn out?

It’s hard. But it is doable with practice and growing your TRUST. And that trust needs to be in this: That no matter what the outcome is, you will be OK.

That’s it. Simple.

I think about how I would feel if I lost my parents, or if Jade left me. I think about how I might feel if I found out I was diagnosed with cancer, lost a limb or lost everything and found myself on the street. Certainly not the happiest of thoughts, but thoughts that push me nonetheless. They push my mental boundaries to the point where I can ask myself, “If that happened, could I handle it??” And the answer, in the end, is always yes. Yes, I could.

And there’s power in knowing and TRUSTING that you can handle whatever happens–whatever outcome occurs.

It doesn’t mean we don’t try. In fact, it has the opposite effect of making us try harder. Because it finally grants us the PERMISSION we need to take more risks and do what we need to do to make our dreams a reality, because in the end we know we can handle it. Whatever “it” is :)

How liberating.

A “possibility mindset” is utlimately one of effort, one of positivity and one of deep satisfaction if you are only open to it. By doing the opposite and trying to stay safe and secure, we are taking the biggest risk of all, which is never trying for something more.

Next post will be on my physique reflections. See you then! ox, Jill

Related: 18 Ways to Ensure 2012 Is Your Best Year Yet


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